Everybody wants to share a little (complicated) secret on how to succeed, organize and conquer those mundane household chores. Not me. I want you to feel good about failing. Doing the laundry can be downright heinous and a real cuss word. I want you to know that you’re not alone.
We’ve all mildewed towels. THE WORST. Maybe you’ve even washed a few “dry clean only” articles of clothing because you’re a rebel and you can hand-wash/delicate cycle it. Until that fancy article of clothing comes out looking like a new doll sweater. Nice work. Your husband’s dolls needed more clothes. Score.
It’s time to stop beating yourself up about how many times you’ve forgotten about, neglected, “refluffed” or not folded that laundry in the dryer.
Embrace your successes in failing. Wrap your loving arms around them and squeeze them tight. You’re the boss.
Shhhh. If you promise to not tell, I will share my secrets with you.
My 10 ways to fail at doing laundry. Trust me, I’m an expert.
1. Place hampers everywhere. It’s a proven fact that if you have hampers in every possible room of the house except the kitchen, all the dirty clothes will, undoubtedly, end up on the kitchen floor. Except the socks. Those poor souls get lost outside, under the couch, in the car and probably at the last park you visited.
2. Place some dirty clothes in the washing machine. Realize you need to find more clothes than the ones you just picked up from all the floors.
3. Get distracted. And never start the washing machine.
4. Get focused. Pick up clothes from everywhere. Place clothes in one of your many hampers. There. Is that so hard? This makes you feel better about all of those hampers. Carry a hamper down and set that hamper in front of the washing machine.
5. Get distracted. And forget to start the washing machine.
6. After the kids fall asleep, head downstairs to switch the clothes from the washer to the….AHHH! Nooooo, the hamper that’s still sitting in front of the washing machine. Put these cuss words in the washing machine. Start it. Go to sleep.
7. Remember those hamper clothes from last night. A night later. Yep. You’re going to need to wash them again. They mildewed from your successful neglectful laundering. Poor stinky clean clothes. That’s right, wash them again.
8. Congratulations! You’re almost a genius because you remembered to move those twice cleaned clothes to the dryer. Get cocky and throw those fancy Norwex dryer balls in there. That’s right. You got this.
9. Whoops. You went to pick up the kids and forgot about the laundry in the dryer. Press your favorite button ever created and “refluff” those wrinkly clean clothes. After all, you’re planning on folding them later while the kids watch a show.
10. Attempt to romantically fold the clothes, only to have kids and a dog that bask in their warmness, “swim in them” (see picture of IKEA bag with kids invading warm laundry)and spread them all over the place. Wait until they have cooled off and then throw all of the wrinkly clothes in your broken and beat up laundry basket. OR handy dandy IKEA bag.
Take it upstairs. Out of sight. Out of mind.
Congratulations. You failed which actually means you win. You succeeded. At failing to do the laundry.