I Know I’m a Good Mom… and So Are You

Motherhood is hard. Babies, in all their squishy glory, are tough. Raising tiny humans is exhausting and I know I’m oftentimes left wondering if I’m doing a good job.

Is the baby eating enough?

Does she feel warm to you?

Did she or did she not just swallow Princess Elsa’s tiny, plastic shoe? Oh wait. Here it is… Wait. Where’s the other shoe?!

Preschools have wait lists?! We’re too late – she’ll never get into preschool, and she’ll never grow to be independent. She’ll live at home forever, and I’ve basically ruined her life.

That last one might be a tad dramatic. But you know what I mean. There are so many things we worry about when it comes to our kids we forget to take a step back and look at everything we’re doing right. I don’t know all the answers and I do a lot of things wrong but I know I’m a good mom. How do I know? Here’s how…

I’m a good mom because I read all the books, Googled all the things, took all the vitamins and prepared in every way to welcome my first baby into the world only to be thrown through a complete loop when I held my daughter for the first time. No amount of reading and knowledge can prepare you for that feeling – an overwhelming love for this little baby and an all-encompassing fear that they’ll actually let you take it home.

I know I’m a good mom because during my second pregnancy, I did none of those things to prepare (except take my vitamins, obviously) and I was STILL taken aback by all the feelings – how will I love TWO babies equally and how on earth will I handle this?!

I know I’m a good mom because I breastfed, pumped, bottle fed and offered formula when I couldn’t stand the thought of nursing in pain for one more minute. Because I weaned when I wanted to, not when my baby was ready. Because I felt guilty about it for, like, a day and then realized I was way happier which made me a better mom and wife.

I’m a good mom because I swaddled, rocked and held my baby until she fell asleep. Because I just went in to comfort her for the umpteenth time tonight, let her cry it out and then brought her into my bed when I was desperate for us both to get a little bit of sleep. Because I’m not (completely) desperate to get her sleeping through the night by 12 16 20 weeks old (it’s not happenin’ anyway…) and know it’ll come eventually. Probably not as soon as I’d hope, but some day, we will sleep again.

I know I’m a good mom because I waited until my first was six months old to start solids, and I made my own baby food. Because after that first batch I gave up and fed my baby store-bought jars of purees. And guess what? They weren’t even organic. Gasp! Because I made sure to wait until she was one year old before offering peanut butter and honey. I’m a good mom because I’m pretty sure my toddler just force-fed my 4 month old spaghetti when I wasn’t looking.

I’m a good mom because while my daughter isn’t on any preschool waiting lists, she knows her alphabet and can count to 10. Some days she can even count to 20. She also knows the words to Katy Perry’s Roar, which in my book, is a total parenting win.

I know I’m a good mom because I never once let anyone make me feel bad about my c-sections or felt discouraged by another mom’s perfect Pinterest party Facebook post. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’m too busy singing Roar with my toddler, remember?

I’m a good mom because my kids know that I love them. And man, do I freaking love them.

And you know what?

You are a good mom, too.

You see, there are a million different ways to do things when it comes to this whole parenting gig and we drive ourselves crazy comparing and reading and googling how we’re supposed to do right by our kids. I’m just one person, and I’ve tried 7,000 different ways to get my baby to take a pacifier instead of nursing for the 10th time tonight. She still refuses so I’ll try the another 7,001 times until something sticks because I’m tired, and my nipples are sore.

You are a good mom because you choose to do what’s best for your family, and you will never be judged by me. You are a good mom even when that perfectly filtered Instagram picture of a toddler drinking a green smoothie on a white couch makes you think otherwise. Or when you read yet another opinionated article about how having an unmedicated water birth in your living room surrounded by unicorns and fairies makes you a superior mother. (It doesn’t, by the way, and unicorns don’t exist. So there.)

You are a good mom no matter how (or where) you birthed your baby, how you choose to feed them and whether or not you co-sleep, vaccinate, use cloth diapers or homeschool because you’re only trying to do what’s best for your kids and family.

We’re all just doing our best.

So forget the haters (they’re gonna hate anyway, right?!) and take a second to remember that while motherhood is hard and babies are tough and exhausting, you’re doing it right. You are a good mom.

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day!