An Open Letter to the Body Shamers

An Open Letter to the Body ShamersDear Consultants, Coaches, #girlbosses and “Business Owners”:

Hi. You don’t know me, exactly, but you know me in theory.

I am the person you prey on. I am a new mom, a few months postpartum. I’m exhausted. I don’t have a spare minute in my day. My body is larger and jigglier than it was before but I’m reaching the point where I can’t use my recent pregnancy as an excuse. On top of everything, my son has had some health problems, making it for a very emotional, hectic past few months.

It starts innocently enough. You want me to think you care about me, by sending me a Facebook message expressing sympathy or concern or commiseration. I know what you’re up to, and I try to ignore. “You are beautiful, your body has done a great thing, you are more than your looks,” I remind myself.

The messages pick up. I continue polite non-answers, try not to engage you any further. But your exclamation marks and smiley faces continue.  My three-year-old calls me a princess and declares my raggedy Mizzou t-shirt “beautiful, mommy!”

Finally, it comes. You invite me to your “accountability group,” or you tell me about some miracle face cream. The subtext is clear: you think I’m fat, you think I look tired, you want to exploit my insecurities to make a buck.

Well, guess what?  I’m not going to be polite anymore.

You can take your body shaming, and shove it.

You are a bully.
 
Instead now we’re thirty-something, not 10, and we’re not on the playground anymore. By attempting to sell me these products, you are telling me you think I’m less than you. That I should want to be like you. That something is inherently wrong with me, and my stretch marks, and my developing crow’s feet and age spots.
 
Well, guess what? Your protein shakes will not cure you of being insensitive. Plastic wrap and magic beans might make you a few bucks, but they’ll lose you a lot more if the currency is respect and friendships.
 
I am done with you.
 
Sincerely,
Not Your Friend Anymore
 

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2 Responses to An Open Letter to the Body Shamers

  1. Michael November 14, 2015 at 1:29 pm #

    I’m curious, how do these people react when you tell them they are making you uncomfortable?

  2. Julia November 23, 2015 at 12:43 pm #

    This post is ridiculous. No one is body shaming you in the name of making a dollar. They don’t think you are fat or ugly, they will just sell to anyone who will buy.