Step 1: Expect the unexpected, including absolutely nothing happening. Draft a statement explaining why (insert activity here) was canceled even though nothing has started falling from the sky.
Step 2: Prepare your “I’m resentful but smiling” face for when your school/daycare tells you they may release early (or not open at all).
Step 3: Reschedule Restaurant Week reservations.
Step 4: If expecting, pray to the heavens above that the baby does NOT pick this weekend to make her debut. In the meantime, spend every waking minute debating with your husband if booking a hotel across the street from the hospital is worth it.
Step 5: Stock up on groceries that need to be cooked. Your pre-kid snow day supplies may have been reduced to Dove chocolate, red wine, and smut magazines like People and US Weekly. These days, add ALL THE BREAD and MILK to the list. You’re welcome, toddlers.
Step 6: Freak out that you’ll lose power and freeze/starve to death. Send your husband to the store for more bread and firewood.
Step 7: Get a text from your husband that lines are ten customers deep and the place is a zoo. Ask him if he’s already in line. When he says he is, write back to let him know you need him to grab tampons while he’s there.
Step 8: Laugh and laugh when he freaks out at you.
Step 9: Set Facebook notifications so that every time Gary Lezak moves, you get an alert.
Step 10: Double check that you have adequate birth control, assuming he has forgiven you after Step 7. #noicestormbabies