Are you getting ready to have another baby, by c-section, and wondering HOW on earth you are going recover from that while taking care of your new baby and the one(s) you already have!? Well, fear not. I, the C-Section Queen (a title bestowed upon me by my obstetrician after having my fifth c-section), am here to tell you – it’s completely doable!
Get up and move
I once had a patient’s husband call me into the room to get the new mom out of bed for the first time after her c-section. The husband was then angry that I got her up, knowing how sore she was. Granted, I was still a young nurse and I may have looked like a baby. But, I had just come back from maternity leave. I let the upset new father yell at me, and then I kindly explained to him that I knew exactly how his wife was feeling – I had just been in her place a couple of months before. I explained that yes, it hurts, and yes, it sucks to get up, but how so very important it was for her to do so. The sooner I got up, and walked the halls, the better I felt. They both apologized to me, and heeded my advice without further complaint.
Getting out of bed and walking is so important. And like I told that patient: I know it hurts. I know it sucks. But, I always felt the worst when I had been sitting or laying down for extended periods of time. It will help you feel back to normal, which you want to do so you can take care of your other kid(s).
Teach your kids
Usually, all your older child will know is that his/her world just got turned upside down by the fact that there’s this new little crying thing in the house. They might understand that their new baby brother/sister was in your tummy and now it’s not. And while most of us want to put off THE conversation for as long as we possibly can, the fact that you had a c-section makes things way easier in this department. (Another reason why it’s OK that you had a c-section!)
With each new baby that I brought home came a little lesson about where and how the baby came out. Each time I would show my older kids my incision and explain to them how the doctor opened me up (“Like a door?”), took out the baby (“Did it hurt?”), and closed me back up (“With a zipper?”). I’d let them gaze at the “door,” ask as many questions that popped into their head, giving them simple, age-appropriate answers.
Not only did you just get some one-on-one time with your older child while satisfying the big question of “how did the baby come out?” but it also helped them to understand that they couldn’t just jump on me, and that I wouldn’t be running at full speed. They were taught that I needed some time to heal the big owie.
Involve the new siblings
One thing you might be worried about is how your older child is going to react to having a new sibling. A great way to deal with all of these things is to involve your older child in the care of the new baby. The baby’s pacifier is missing… make it a game of hide and seek and have big brother help find it! You’re breastfeeding, and you left the burp cloth in the kitchen… have big sister fetch it! Baby is sleeping on you, and you need a little rest… pop in big brother’s favorite movie and watch together. You need to feed the baby a bottle… have big sister give her baby doll a bottle. Not only are you making them feel better about being a big brother/sister, they’re also helping you out!
Let Dad help
Hopefully your husband can stick around for a few days once you get home from the hospital so that you have another pair of hands on deck. Having him (or even another family member or friend) there can help in so many ways while you are trying to recover. He can hold the baby so you can give your toddler a little extra attention from Mommy. Or he can take toddler out for a special date so she knows she’s still special. And most importantly, he can be there as your cheerleader and emotional support while you are overwhelmed with post-partum hormones.
Keep your routine
I found it extremely tough when we went from one kid to two. Our routine was turned upside down, which is not fun when you’re trying to heal. So, when I was pregnant with #3 and discussing my concerns about it happening again, a wise friend told me, “Just make the baby fit into your routine.” In other words, don’t change everything on account of the new baby; let the baby be incorporated into what you already have going for you. I adopted that philosophy and it made bringing #3, #4 and #5 into our world that much easier.
Find a happy balance
The discharge instructions that the hospital gives you are full of things to do, or not do, in your recovery period. Your nurses usually add to that, usually from experience. For example: limit your use of stairs to once or twice a day. With my first three kids, we didn’t have a house with stairs so I didn’t really pay attention to this. But, when my fourth came around, we were in a new house with stairs. That first day home, I was feeling great and wasn’t really thinking about myself. After my fourth trip up and down the stairs in a 10-minute time span, I was feeling it.
While you feel the need to do more when you are coming home after your second, third and fourth c-section, you might think it’s unreasonable to limit yourself, but just remember there’s a reason for that instruction. The worst thing you could possibly do is over-do it after a c-section, which is so easy to do, when you have more than just the new baby to care for. Work up to your regular mommy tasks; you don’t have to dive in head first!
Before you know it, you will be recovered and doing well in your new role as a mom to two (or a few)!
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