As I sit here typing, it’s 8:45 p.m. My children have “been in bed” for 45 minutes. They are still awake. One is crying because he wants to sleep on the couch. One is whining because he is thirsty. I have given them both drinks. Traded stuffed animals out about 50 times. Said prayers, brushed teeth, gone potty, read stories, and they are still going strong.
This, my friends, is the time of day that I miss it most.
You know what I’m talking about… don’t pretend you don’t. Because you know you miss it, too.
The quiet. The uninterrupted quiet that used to exist in your pre-kid life.
I’m only three years into this parenting gig, and it seems I can’t get enough quiet anymore. I don’t even listen to the radio when I’m in my car alone. I just enjoy the silence.
Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVE being a mom more than anything in the world, and most days, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything. But, there are days when I’d gladly trade it all for a good bottle of wine, some expensive cheese, a decent foot rub and an hour of solitude.
1. Reading. I miss having hours and hours of unadulterated time to just read! And I’m not talking about kids books, or books with pictures, or books whose pages are stuck together with boogers. I’m talking about real books! I miss time for grown-up books.
2. Leisurely meals at nice restaurants. I miss ordering a cocktail, or three, before I even decide what I want to eat. I miss appetizers, and dessert and after-dinner drinks.
3. Weekends. I guess technically I still have my weekends. But now they are filled with cartoons, kids’ activities and the McDonald’s Play Place. But man, I used to have to some fun weekends in my pre-kid life.
4. Flexibility/Spontaneity. I think this is the one I miss most. I miss being able to just do things on a whim. Go to lunch with a friend, run an errand, get my oil changed, go to Happy Hour. Once you have kids, everything in your world has to be scheduled. Organized. Planned.
5. Put myself first. That sounds selfish, doesn’t it? But I miss being able to just worry about me. I miss being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, with little regard for anyone else’s schedule or opinions. Whether it’s what to watch on TV, what movie to rent, which park we visit, or what we eat for dinner, my opinion is no longer the only one to consider.
Hey! Do you hear that? Quiet! I think they are FINALLY asleep!
In all reality, I wouldn’t go back to my pre-kid life for anything in the world.
These guys are my heart, and they make everything in the world so much better just by being in it. But, I don’t think it makes me a bad person, or a bad mom, for sometimes longing for those pre-kid days, when I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. Those longings are a good reminder for us mommas, however. A reminder that it’s important to take time for ourselves. To do things for ourselves. To be selfish once in awhile. All too soon, they will be off to college or getting married, and we will reminisce about when they were young.
OK, time for me to kiss those sweet, sleeping boys of mine, and hit the hay myself. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll schedule myself a pedicure!