You Can Pry My Kid Leash From My Cold, Dead Hands

File this under things I said I’d never do, but then did.

It’s a growing list, my friends. In my earlier, kid-free life, I thought these kid leashes were somewhere in-between horrible and hilarious. Maybe both.

I was pretty sure I’d never be caught dead tugging around a growling toddler straining at a harness like a Brittany Spaniel. How is it, ladies and gentlemen, that I used to know everything? It is certainly no longer the case.

You Can Pry My Kid Leash From My Cold, Dead Hands

Photo credit: Brieanne Hilton

I know you’ll all hate me for reinforcing to all of your dog-loving friends that having a little kid must be just like what they experience with their pets. I also know that you are probably all gentler mothers whose spawn sit silently and wait for quiet direction. They probably all choose vegetables over cake and hop right into bed every night at 7 p.m. and sleep through until 7 a.m. (later on the weekends, of course), and they probably have since they were a week old, right?

As for me, I’m going to relish the fact that I have curious, individual, strong-willed children. I’m going to foster their creativity and love how adventurous they are.

But I will also do anything, really anything to keep those little boys safe. It doesn’t matter that it makes me uncool (was I ever really cool, anyway?). It doesn’t matter that you pity my kids on leashes as you pass by. It doesn’t matter that the former me would have thought that lady with the leash kids was a TERRIBLE and ridiculous mother. That me didn’t have to keep anyone else safe, and that me was quite possibly a little too smart for her own good.

So there. You can pry my kid leash from my cold, dead hands.

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