A Love Letter

Dear Husband,

tired-marriage

I know that our daily conversations are no longer spent discussing politics or dreaming about the future but instead seem to primarily consist of to-do lists, meal planning, errand running and the occasional nagging.
 
I know there are days when I am being mangled by one boy “cuddling” my face all day long, rubbing his sticky hands all over my neck while I am simultaneously being kicked from within by another boy. My pregnancy skin is itchy, and I can’t really remember if I showered this morning or was it two – maybe three – days ago? You want to hug me, even kiss me, at the end of the day and all I want is a wide expanse of personal space where no one is allowed to touch me.
 
I know that often the marathon from dinner to bedtime feels like a mindless routine where we each play our part (me moving the tooth brushing along, you picking up the day’s toys). I know we look forward to our few hours together each night only to sit exhausted in front of yet another Netflix series, barely speaking to one another.
 
I can’t remember the last time we went to happy hour or a movie. Our dates are no longer spontaneous but planned a month in advance with great coordination.
 
I know we rarely send flowers or buy gifts for each other without considering how it will impact this month’s budget.
 
But here’s the thing. I love you more today than I did when our life was all about happy hours, sleepy Saturday mornings and long afternoon runs.
 
Although you still send flowers occasionally, you show your love differently now. You pick up our son from daycare so I don’t have an even longer commute home from work. You fill my car up with gas so I don’t have to do it in the cold. You fold the clothes AND put them away. You come home on random days with cupcakes or Sonic limeades in hand.
 
You make stove-top popcorn even though you never eat it yourself. You rub my back and brush my hair to help me fall asleep. You ignore me when I tell you I don’t want to cuddle and wrap your arms around me until I let the stress slip away.
 
I wouldn’t go back to that first year of marriage. Watching you become a father doesn’t shine a light to even the best date nights of our past. I have never felt more secure in myself and our marriage knowing I have a teammate in the hardest, most exhausting and most rewarding job I’ve ever had.
 
I know these kids are ours for the next eighteen or so years but I get you forever. Thank you for helping me rejoice in this crazy season of life.
 
Happy love day.
Sarah McGinnity
Sarah grew up in Manhattan, Kansas (Go Cats!), she moved to Minnesota where she met her husband, Shea. Realizing how much she hated snow in May, she convinced him to move to Kansas City in 2010. Together they have lived in Midtown, Waldo, the Plaza, and now Overland Park. Sarah is mom to 10-year-old, Henry, 7-year-old Clark and 5-year-old Lucy. She has her master’s in urban administration and is passionate about making Kansas City a more equitable and supportive community. In between the crazy, she likes to drink coffee, run, hike, travel as much as possible, and experience all things Kansas City!

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