Today is my birthday – October 28, 1973. For those of you trying to do the math … I am {*cough* forty *cough*} years old. Which means I had my twins at age thirty-seven … two months shy of my 38th birthday.
I didn’t plan to wait until I was considered to be of an “advanced maternal age” (medical terminology – not mine) to start my family. In fact, by the time I was twenty-eight, I was ready to be a mom.
What is it they say about the best-laid plans …?
Anyway, after years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, we had resigned ourselves to being a child-free family. But, through a pretty amazing turn of events, we were able to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) – and it worked!
There are a lot of things that totally suck about being an “old” mom. (For more on this, check out this humorous post on Rants From Mommyland.) However, there are also some really awesome things about being an older version of myself 😉 …
1. Retirement: I can retire when my boys are 14 years old. HOW COOL IS THAT? About the time they start to think I’m so uncool and that they want to be anywhere but with me … I will be available 24/7 to harass them, monitor their social lives, and drive them anywhere their hearts desire.
2. I am far more patient. I have always been a little lot on the impatient side. When I want something done, I want it done now. I don’t like to wait. Having kids has forced me to slow down and appreciate waiting a bit more. I try very hard not to say things like, “hurry up” and “let’s go, we’re going to be late!” to the boys. While I want them to have a decent appreciation for time management and being on time, I don’t really want to pass on my neuroses, either.
3. “Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.” Through the years, I have made many mental notes about what NOT to do as a parent. There are also many things I vowed I would NEVER do as a parent, that I now find myself contemplating – like putting leashes on my children. Until you’ve stood in the Babies R Us parking lot, in the pouring rain, with one child throwing a fit, face down in a puddle, and the other having taken off through the parking lot … you have no room to judge. I always shook my head at “those parents” who had their child tethered to a pocket, hand, or backpack – but with two busy toddlers at my house, child harnesses have never seemed like a better idea!
4. I think, though my husband may disagree, that I have mellowed. Plain and simple, you just can’t get all bent out of shape about the littlest things when you have kids. You’d spend your life at the chiropractor! Being a mom has taught me to appreciate the smaller moments in life, to be a bit more flexible, and that every once in a while, ice cream is an acceptable dinner option.
5. No matter how old you are when you become a mom, it’s a humbling job. I used to think I was a strong person; perhaps I still am, in some respects. But since the boys were born, things affect me differently. I view the world as a mom now – and that makes the world a much different place. It is an overwhelming and humbling idea to know that I am responsible for helping these two little people navigate and make sense of this world, when I’m not so sure I can even do that for myself.
Young. Old. Married. Single. Stay-at-home. Working professional.
Whatever kind of mom you are, one thing I know for certain.
It is the best job.
And no matter how much we know, or think we know, about parenting, there is ALWAYS more to learn.
Love this post, and I definitely agree with all of it! I had my first child in my early 30’s and my second 1 year shy of the “advanced maternal age” label, so I still can relate. There are days that I envy my friends who had their children in their 20’s and are now “getting their lives back”, but I definitely LIVED mine in my 20s, so it evens out. I do appreciate that this mellowing out that I’m going through because of my age (I’m assuming), also coincides with raising my children. Less conflict of interest. I’m actually reveling in my new found “uncoolness”. lol
Enjoyed reading your post! I am a 46 year old stay at home mom of an 18 month old awesome little girl. Yep….I had her via IVF at age 45! Scary but the best thing in the world!!! I enjoy being a mom at this age especially since I also have, two other children….a 24 year old boy and a 20 year old girl….yes, you read correctly! Quite a gap! I feel blessed to be “starting over” again with being a mom. Because there is such a gap between my youngest and oldest, I get to parent differently. Sort of a “do-over”. I feel like I know what not to do and I am definitely more relaxed in general (I don’t worry about the small stuff like the floor being so dirty or toys all over the house). I do however, worry about bigger things….when my older two were younger, they could play outside in the neighborhood with other kids without much worry, now, 20 plus years later I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting a child play even in my own neighborhood unattended. I love being a mommy to a toddler at this age in my life and would love to meet others in the same boat! If you know of any later in life mommy bloggers or even a group that meets regularly I would love to know about it and maybe get together over a bowl of goldfish crackers!