I regret to inform you that I am ending our relationship prematurely. I have no ill will toward you — we had 21 good months together and two children. But it’s obvious that things have been deteriorating for awhile, so it’s time to say goodbye.
When it was good, it was so good. We were together through hospital stays and Disneyland and college basketball games. You were there in the middle of the night to soothe the savage beast when nobody else would. You made me feel useful and wanted when the rest of the world looked at me like I was far past my prime. You taught me how to be confident and not care about the sideways glances from strangers. You and I were a part of something that nobody else could ever understand. I am so grateful for you.
But I won’t miss the struggles we had at the end. I tried everything to make it work, old friend, but we just aren’t compatible anymore. The screaming, the fighting, the visits to doctors and lactation consultants to make it all better — I can’t take it anymore.
I want you to know that I tried everything. I desperately wanted this to work, but it’s for the best that I say goodbye. I deserve better. I deserve to not be yelled at, scratched and kicked. I will always remember the good times, and I hope the memories of the bad times will fade.
I’ll be staying with my friend, Pumpy McBottles, for awhile. She’s kind of annoying, and really loud, but she gets the job done and our relationship is much less tumultuous. I’m thankful that she’s here for me now when I need her.
I am going to be OK.