Finding My Lost Self… At the Gym

I’ve always worked out, but becoming a mother put a full stop on my workout routine. 
 
Sometimes I think back to the time before children. I remember my husband and I on an evening jog (it’s true – we jog together… yes we are “that” annoying couple), we planned for my husband to run for an hour and then come get me so that I could jog to allow the baby to sleep but still keep up our regular workout routine. 
 
When I got pregnant I bought a fancy jogging stroller with full intentions of keeping up my training. I quickly found that my expectations of myself and my expectations of the demands of motherhood were a little off balance. I stopped working out. I gained weight. I got sad. But then I went back. And I lost weight. And I got happy again. The cycle continues. 
 
Becoming a mother has made me realize how important a regular work out routine is to my happiness. I don’t know about you, but the demands of motherhood have made me question everything I ever thought about myself down to a cellular level. 
 
But when I work out – I feel like “I got this.” Nothing makes me feel alive like working out.  All the “can’t,” all the “didn’t,” and all the “won’t” falls away. When I’m done working out I feel like a badass who can’t be stopped. I feel like I showed that treadmill/bicycle/pavement or barbell who’s boss (me. I’m the boss).  
  
I wish motherhood made me feel like that. I wish dominating seven loads of laundry in one day made me feel like that. I wish making a three-course meal (including vegetables) made me feel on fire. But, it just doesn’t. 
 
So I hope you’ve found your “thing.” The thing that makes you feel like you again. Crocheting sweaters for cats? Two hours of writing the next great screenplay? Singing the entire Rent soundtrack in your car on the way to the store? 
 
Whatever it is…once you find it you’ll know cause you’ll say to yourself: “Oh, there she is…I had lost track of her!” 

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One Response to Finding My Lost Self… At the Gym

  1. Tashina Schimming March 21, 2018 at 1:01 pm #

    “Nothing makes me feel alive like working out.” I LOVE this quote!!