Has anyone ever invited you to an event you really just did not want to attend (like, there really isn’t much that sounds worse than going)? 
In my younger years and early motherhood days, I often felt obligated or forced to say “yes” in these situations much more than I would’ve liked. As I continued to mature and become more confident in my priorities, I–like many–learned to speak up for myself and say “no” when I wanted to.
With the start of a new year, there’s a lot of bustle, promotions and events urging me to attend things I really just have zero interest in. So, for your convenience, here are 11 helpful, hilarious and straightforward ways of saying you’d rather pass on your next undesirable event …
Excuse 1: I’d rather walk barefoot across a pile of LEGOs and clean all the toilets in my entire neighborhood.
Excuse 2: I’m busy changing my dog’s urine saturated maxi pad “dog diaper.”
Excuse 3: I’m still recovering from “Ice Storm 2017.”
Excuse 4: I’d rather do bedtime by myself with no wine in the house.
Excuse 5: I have plans to take my entire family to the pediatrician’s office and sit on the sick side of the waiting room for the majority of the day … because I’d rather be deathly sick and taking care of two sick toddlers and a husband with the man flu.
Excuse 6: I want to go, but I have to take my kids to the grocery store to lick all the cart handles.
Excuse 7: I’m going to start potty training my 10-month-old.
Excuse 8: We’re doing some very complicated crafts with glitter that day.
Excuse 9: Another thought: save other moms the hassle of coming up with an excuse. Reserve all the tickets to the event and then don’t show.
Excuse 10: I’d rather suck the mold out of my six-year-old Sophie the Giraffe.
Excuse 11: I’d rather get into a heated debate over vaccinations, politics or breastfeeding in public.
What’s your excuse, moms?
