This post may ruffle some feathers because there seems to be a huge line drawn in the sand between these two groups of moms. I have even at times found myself to be the one making the comments about the “other side.” Until now. This year I finally realized how much I, the working mom, desperately NEED my stay at home mom friends.
The perfect storm happened to me recently where there I ended up sick, then came a tragedy, followed by a dance recital, ballet tickets, winter party sign-ups and no dress for a Sunday choir performance. One of those weeks where you just want to quit.
As a working mom these weeks are especially hard because I am expected to show up for my day job (teacher) and my after school job (momming). Everyone needed something and around mid week it was very apparent that I was too sick and wasn’t going to be able to do any of it. I had already resigned myself to the fact that the week was an epic fail. We weren’t going to make it anywhere and my daughter would just wear last year’s Christmas dress (the horror!). As usual, my working mom guilt kicked in, “If I wasn’t a teacher and around snotty kids all the time I wouldn’t be sick. I’m failing at all my jobs.”
Until, I received the text, “Don’t worry about getting Row, I’ll take her to dance and bring her back home!” Then came another, “Hey, I’m going to be looking for a choir dress, do you need me to pick one up for her?” I couldn’t believe it. My village was springing to action, and the villagers…were my stay at home mom friends! In those moments, because let’s be clear the little things always make mommy happy, I realized just how important those ladies are to me.
I didn’t have to make the freezer meals to a friend who had suffered a loss, Momma J had already done it! She sprung into action the moment tragedy struck, because she is thoughtful and caring and was able to do so during the day. I didn’t have to attempt to get out of work early to pick up my daughter and transport her across town, Momma B did that for me, because she new it would be hard for me and she wanted to help out. While sick and in bed, both Momma J and B looked for choir dresses for my little lady so that I didn’t have to. These two women are amazing and go out of their way every day for everyone they meet, even their fussy working mommy friend.
I realized that these are the women who volunteer in classrooms and help out teachers, while I’m at work. These are the moms that volunteer to lead holiday parties, while I am at work. These are the moms that are there to meet the kids when there are early release days, or volunteer at Vacation Bible School because at that point in the summer a teacher needs to be alone. They are the moms that bring you casseroles in your moments of grief and are the first ones to host showers when you’re having a baby. I love my stay at home mom friends! I’m so glad these ladies are part of my village.
Because after all, these two groups of women at the end of the day, are just moms who need each other.