Really Living in My Neighborhood

I’ve lived in Kansas City two different times … but the first time, I never really called Kansas City home.

Part of the reason for this is because I lived in one area of the metro, worked in another, and spent most of my free time in yet another part of the city, even when I had the choice. I didn’t feel particularly connected to any of those places, and then I moved away.

So, when my husband got a job that would move our family back to Kansas City last year, we wanted to do things differently. Since his work requires him to be downtown, we bought a house in Midtown. We love it here, and we’re thrilled to be in walking, biking, or short driving distance of not only his work, but also many amazing places in our city.

However, I’m noticing that no matter where I live, my tendency is still to simply exist in my neighborhood without really living  there. For example, many of my “go to” stores and restaurants – the ones I know well – aren’t easily accessible from Midtown, so I sometimes find myself driving an hour round-trip just to get to a shopping mall or buy groceries! There’s nothing wrong with this, of course; as mom to a small child, it is often easier to drive 30 minutes for one-stop shopping than unbuckling the car seat seven times or pushing a stroller down the block in the heat. Plus, our family loves to explore the great places the entire metro has to offer.

But when I’m spending lots of my free time away from our neighborhood, I start to notice some losses – for myself, my family, and my community. Most of these are interpersonal in nature; when we aren’t here, we lose some of our connectedness and ability to be engaged in our corner of Kansas City.

For many of us in the metro, driving and commuting is simply life – where we live or work isn’t always a choice. But each of us usually returns to a particular zip code at the end of the day, and the time we spend there is valuable. So, I’ll share just a few questions I’m asking myself this time around to help me think through some ways I can be more present where I live:

–       Do I know my neighbors? This seems obvious, but it’s amazing how often I’ve had no clue who was living next door to me. It’s also amazing what a difference neighbors can make! In the short time we’ve lived in our current home, our neighbors have done everything from loaning us baby clothes to preventing our lawn mower from walking away. Plus, they provide us with a unique lens through which to experience Kansas City.

–       What do I leave my area most for? Can I do any of it closer to home? For our family, this is easy: retail and groceries. While I’m not sure we can do all  of our shopping closer to home, we can do more of it here. For instance, nearby restaurant You Say Tomato also sells some local items and produce, so I’ve stopped buying my onions and sweet potatoes at a larger store and have started pushing the stroller down the street to support local industry (usually while saying hi to a few neighbors on the way). Others in our neighborhood participate in a community garden, which is another great way to eat and live local.

–       Where are the family-friendly places in my neighborhood? (Or, how can I think creatively about what is family-friendly?) Maybe some of the best family activities in Kansas City are already happening in your neighborhood! Perhaps a little researching will reveal that the church across the street has an open gym on Mondays or that your local bistro would be delighted for you to host chaotic play dates in their back room.

Some of us may need to be creative about what is family-friendly. For instance, we live near several local restaurants known especially for their nightlife – not the perfect place for an infant or toddler on Fridays during happy hour (as we accidentally learned the hard way). But, we’ve discovered that one of our favorites, Sol Cantina, has a laid-back atmosphere in the afternoons, making it one of our favorite places to have family lunch while watching a Royals or Chiefs game.

–       How can I incorporate small changes into my present routine? Sometimes we can eat family dinner on the front porch instead of in the back yard. We can install the chain link fence instead of the privacy fence. Or perhaps I can walk down the street instead of to the kitchen once in awhile for one of my (many) daily cups of coffee! 

I can already see how these kinds of questions are changing how I think about where I live and how I spend my time – and truly making Kansas City my home.

What other ideas can you share? How are you and your family really living in your neighborhood or area of the metro?

Jenna Brack lives in Midtown with her husband, Brad, and their almost one-year old son. Her proudest accomplishment is surviving her first year of motherhood, during which she acquired thousands of open-mouthed slobbery kisses, her first official gray hairs, and at least a dozen books on baby sleep – which merely taught her to drink more coffee. A former high school and college English teacher, she currently uses her love for language to insert creative story lines into her son’s favorite books. Her family loves frequenting the many great restaurants and parks in Kansas City, especially those in their neighborhood.