The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act

To celebrate the different expressions of how moms work, the KCMB series “The Way Moms Work” follows the many ways we work in a single day. We hope this series will champion all of the work moms do, both in and out of the home, and encourage our readers to find meaning in their own work as well. To read more from this series, click here

We are all working, part-time, full-time, half-time, from the home, out of the home, within the home… always working. This series is an ingenious concept, championing women in all of their vocations and callings and interests. And yet, I find myself reading the articles for a deeper purpose. Scouring their schedules searching for the answer to the age old question we all struggle with daily.

What’s the secret? How is she, everyone but me, doing it all and looking so great doing it?

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

There must be some unknown formula that’s dodged my perception making this juggling act of motherhood simpler than I’ve made it. Because in my world it seems when I’ve tossed one ball, in the moment it’s suspended above me, spinning in all of its height and glory, another is somehow always missed. My fingers may reach, my hand may lurch, but there it goes, plummeting to the ground, and I have fallen short again.

Point in case, my days start early. My alarm begins by five, and Type A that I am, my routine has begun. I stumble down for coffee, grab my books, my journal, and a pen if I can find one. I’ve recently tried to spend more time feeding my soul each morning, grounding myself. And yet, ball one thrown in the air, listening to music with words I believe or soaking up the quiet, sunrise streams not even reached my curtained windows, I already feel the pull of another ball on its descent.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Working from home has so many advantages, its a blessing in every way, and, yet, its always there. There’s always reason for one email, followed by two more, followed by editing, blogging, networking and connecting. And so, my heart is distracted too soon, preoccupied with productivity.

Two hours have passed and the hubs is back from his workout, its my hour now. One of my favorite times of the day, I rarely miss my morning workout. Running with the morning heat is getting a little more difficult with my growing belly but to compensate for the leftovers I snag from each of my littles’ plates, handfuls of Cheerios grabbed between meals and my nightly sweet indulgence, its the least I can do for myself.

A few miles in, I am proud of my effort, though my pace is slow, its steady and with each breath in, breath out, I smile as I think about a few months from now, the preparation for labor and birth, the joy ahead. And yet, no sooner than I’m soaring, another ball catches my eye. I could have been fixing breakfast, ready for my crew, preparing the homeschool lessons for the day, even after I cut my work hours short this morning. Hurrying back, my mind is full, lurching for the next ball I’ll spin.

Walking in, my best friend is on top of things this morning. Nine years married, six years into this parenthood thing and we’ve got so much to learn, but teamwork has always been a priority worth fighting for. He’s wrangled our four out of bed, changed diapers and got them ready for me. There’s not much pause before the handoff, but its worth it; a kiss, and he’s gone for the day.

Breakfast whirlwind, and then chores for the oldest three, they’re clearing, sweeping, wiping and creating messes along the way, the youngest is on their heels, bottle hanging out of her mouth as she crawls after them; it’s part of how we’re all learning in the chaos to work together.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

The motherhood ball is high and spinning, the teacher ball getting ready to join it as I pull out a few books for summer review.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

I point out a few pages for my six year old to start, she heads to the quiet refuge of her room for math time as I bring the other three up to my room, I’ve got a photography shoot to prepare for.

In the shower and out again, packing up the car, welcoming the nanny, I feel it’s the motherhood ball that plummets. As any working mother may relate to, sometimes I feel my littles must breathe a welcome sigh of relief as the undistracted caregiver enters.

At the shoot, I remember quickly why I do this. Basking in the connection, soaking up the light, my heart sings at the photographs I have been entrusted to create. My artistic potential is soaring, and I can’t wait to get home to share the joy I’ve experienced.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Hours later, I walk through my door. My camera bag lands on the dining room table, and I scoop one up, another’s hand, and two other bodies greet my legs squeezing the lactic acid still residing from the morning’s run.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Another ball is propelled. Whether it’s someone’s craft for the day that needs celebrating or someone’s attitude that needs addressing, following up with what has happened in my absence takes first priority.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Piling on the couch for the week’s read aloud for our homeschool lessons, we are interrupted for a timeout, distracted by a client email, a phone call that must be taken, and then the wash machine is overflowing.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

We head outside for bike riding and sidewalk chalk, leaving a mess in the house, and then they come back in and the TV is the babysitter while I open the laptop, editing images and booking next week’s photography schedule while starting dinner for the family. The balls keep their rotation, up in the air, back down to the floor, frantically grabbed up to rejoin the cycle again.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Piling on the couch for the week’s read aloud for our homeschool lessons, we are interrupted for a timeout, distracted by a client email, a phone call that must be taken, and then the wash machine is overflowing. We head outside for bike riding, leaving a mess in the house, and then they come back in and the TV is the babysitter while I open the laptop, editing images and booking next week’s photography schedule while starting dinner for the family. The balls keep their rotation, up in the air, back down to the floor, frantically grabbed up to rejoin the cycle again.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

 

It will continue this way until the teeth are brushed, stories read, covers pulled up snug around my little bugs, and still after as my hubs and I meet up and clean up the remnants of the day around the house, recapping our days, figuring out responsibilities for the next day ahead.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

While some days come with the timeline of events, some days dedicated to pure summer joy, field trip excursions and pool days in the sun, others mean I’m gone before I’ve seen the freckled faces and after goodnight kisses have been dispersed, but most are somewhere ambiguously in the middle.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

So much for calling this all a juggling act, our daily is a three ring spectacle!

However, my revelation as I’ve read each of our days in this KCMB series, scoured these amazing women’s reflections on what they are hoping to and trying to and actually accomplishing? The idea of seamlessly juggling our responsibilities without fail? What we all seem to set our sights on, read blogs and books for, study sermons and seminars centered around? I believe the idea of “finding balance” is a fallacy, a myth inducing angst and worry and guilt amongst too many women daily.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

When it comes down to it, we all are making the choice in each moment to embrace one responsibility and let go of another. There will be times where career demands must take priority and we walk away from time with our families for hours, days, seasons at a time knowing that we are in the long run providing for them financially, prioritizing their security, their good.

Other times, we sacrifice time with them to nourish our souls, choosing sweaty workouts or quiet meditations or dates with our husbands, knowing we are modeling well-rounded wholeness for the little ones studying and learning from our every decision. Then, there are times where we must be the disciplinarian, the teacher, the coach, sticking firm to guidelines, rules, expectations when playfulness would be much more pleasant.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

Though it may be a circus, motherhood, womanhood is not a circus act; we are not on display, even for ourselves and our own pride. I’m learning, through more mistakes than successes, to allow forgiveness to wash over shortcomings, both mine and those around me, focusing with grace on the good I’m being called to in each moment, and to grasp peace instead of scrambling after those juggling balls that really don’t exist in the first place.

The Way Moms Work: The Imaginary Juggling Act | Kansas City Moms Blog

 

Allison French
Allison French is the mother of Ellie, Tristan, Judah and Lucy, living in south Kansas City with her hubby of eight years, Chris. After teaching elementary school in Blue Valley for six years, she established her photography business, Allison Corrin Photography and specializes in newborn and lifestyle photography. Passionate about soaking up the sweetness in the simple, she muses over the dirty diapers, noisy time-outs, piled-up dishes, read alouds, never-ending pile of laundry, and other everyday lessons of motherhood in her personal blog here. A good day for Allison would include getting up while it’s still dark (and quiet), a good cup (or two…or three…) of creamed-up coffee, reading one of the (at least three) books she’s always in the middle of, a little blogging, followed by a long run or dancing at her Jazzercise class and concluded with baking something sweet with her own sweetums … and then promptly chowing down.