To The Mom Whose Spouse Travels

travelingspouseMy husband travels for work. A lot. Sometimes it’s for one or two days at a time. Sometimes it’s for a week or longer. When he first started out with his current job, he actually had to move to another state to train, and was gone for seven months! It was basically like a military deployment without him being in the military (and gave me a newfound respect for military wives).

During that time he was away, all of my coping mechanisms that I had built up when he traveled with his previous job were amplified 1,000 times. To help me get through the time my husband was away, I had to rely on these self-created tips and reassurances so that I could hold the fort down at home, and mentally and emotionally handle being a single mom for an extended amount of time.

Utilize technology, specifically video chatting. Phone calls are great to catch up with your spouse, but actually being able to see them makes all the difference in the world. It doesn’t matter how far away they are, seeing their face right there in front of you momentarily closes that distance between the two of you. Do this as often as you possibly can.

Have an available support system. Make a list of people you can call in case of emergencies, or dire needs to get out of the house. And don’t just mentally have this list in your head; actually print on out and have it somewhere where you can see it.

Let people know what’s going on. I’m not suggesting you advertise on social media that you’re alone with your kids. In actuality, that’s a bad idea, and I try my best to never mention it openly. But DO let your close friends, family and neighbors know. It’s nice to have a loving pair of watchful eyes for that added protection and support.

Have a form of security. Having the peace of mind that you have an alarm system, flood lights, a dog, a gun, an electric fence, booby traps or a moat will help you sleep a little better at night.

Get out of the house. Take some time for yourself and do the grocery shopping on your own, or get a manicure, or take the kids out for pizza. A small amount of time away from the house (or the kids) is a great way to recharge your batteries so that you can keep going!

Know your limitations and ask for help when it’s needed. There are people who love you and want to help. A lot of the times they don’t know how, so they don’t say anything. All you have to do is ask. Even if it means swallowing a little pride.

Give the kids a little extra TLC.  Even though they are relying on you for everything while Daddy is away, and it can bog you down and be overwhelming, taking a little time to give them a little extra love will almost indefinitely make you feel better about things.

Don’t forget about your spouse. Having a traveling spouse is difficult for everyone involved, not just Mommy. He knows how hard it is for you, but sometimes we forget how difficult it is for him to be away from home. Even if you’ve had the worst day imaginable, don’t forget to ask how his day went.

And remember, you can do hard things! It’s cliche and used a lot, but I can’t tell you how motivating and uplifting it can be to tell yourself this when you are feeling all alone and seconds away from drowning.

Meredith R.
Meredith is wife to Eric and mommy to Jackson (10), Wyatt (8), Logan (7), Cohen (5), and Piper (2). She moved to KC in 2005, after being born and raised in St. Louis. Having graduated from the University of Missouri, she still finds it really interesting, and a little unsettling, that KU gear is sold in the stores right alongside all of the MU gear! Meredith wears many hats; not only is she a busy mom shuttling her kids to and from cub scout meetings and soccer practices, but she runs her own photography business, meredithrae photography, blogs over at My 4 Misters And Their Sister, and is also a labor and delivery RN who recently hung up the nurse’s cap temporarily to concentrate on taking care of her family while her hubby travels the world on business. She also likes to cook, bake, sew, decorate, craft, and even swing a hammer from time to time.