To the Parents In the Stands,
I hear you.
I hear many of you cheering your kid and his or her teammates on. I hear you being nothing but encouraging, and it warms my heart to see your child react to that! I hear you thanking your coach for all he or she is doing.
I also hear some of you calling your child out in not-so-encouraging ways. I hear you grumbling about decisions the coach makes that you don’t agree with. I hear you making disparaging comments about the other team or players, and it makes me so profoundly sad.
You guys know this isn’t the World Series, World Cup, or NBA Championship, right? You know these are little kids. I know sometimes it feels like our 7, 8, and 9 year olds are big, but they’re really not. They’re still so little and so formative.
The most important thing right now is that our children are having fun while playing sports. Technique and skill will come, if they stick with it, but for now it should be all about the fun. If you’re being anything but encouraging to them while they’re on the field/court, do you think they’re having fun? I’m guessing not. Plus, I can tell you it’s not fun for the parents around you to hear you shouting at your kid or the coach – that’s downright uncomfortable for all of us.
Speaking of the coach – you know they’re volunteers, right? With actual jobs and families, and they probably rushed home, didn’t even have time for dinner, and then rushed off to your game or practice. They pour themselves into their team, making sure all of the kids are having the best time possible while also learning the basics of the sport. They deserve your help and encouragement, not grumblings from the stands.
Most coaches realize they’re not in the NBA, MLB, or MLS, and coach as such. My husband has coached our boys’ baseball and basketball teams for the last few years. The number of times I heard people criticizing my husband’s lack of cut-throat play with 6 and 7 year olds was absolutely astounding. Every season of basketball and baseball, I have to eventually pipe up from my seat in the stands, tell them I’m his wife and kindly educate them on the rules of the league, and if necessary, the “why’s” behind his coaching style – that the kids learn the game, have fun playing the game, and play with good character.
Bottom line: when we’re cheering our kids on, whether it’s toddlers running as one giant blob at a soccer ball, or elementary kids playing a full weekend of baseball or basketball tournaments, we need to keep our perspective in check. These games are not going to win or lose college scholarships. This is not professional sports or anywhere even close to it. Respect the coach. Applaud your kid. That’s it!
P.S. If you have one of those rare coaches that DOES think he’s coaching in the major leagues, feel free to knock him down a peg or two. Nicely, of course – little eyes are watching you. {wink}
