The Top 10 Things I Miss Now That I’m A Mom

Let’s be honest. This list could actually be named “The Top 287 Things I Miss Now That I’m a Mom” but no one has time to read that. So here we go.

  1. Reading: I’m referring to reading anything, really, but particularly books in my case. I have a Jennifer Weiner book that has been on my nightstand for no less than 1 year. I read half of it during a flight for a work trip but, alas, it still is taking up space on my nightstand, staring me in the face and reminding me I don’t have time to read now that I’m a mom. Fellow moms inform me reading resumes once the kids are in middle school. So, I have that to look forward to.
  2. Sleep: Unfortunately, I am not one of those moms who has somehow been blessed with magic children who sleep well consistently. As I tell a very close friend and parent of one of these said magical children, you should never tell any other parent that your child sleeps all the time because those parents will not like you.
  3. Sitting Down to Eat: What is that about? No one informed me there is really no sitting down to eat dinner once you have kids who are mobile. You have to make and dish up the kids’ dinner, get your own ready and then, as soon as you sit down, someone needs more milk, they don’t like the meatballs, or it’s too hot, too cold, or too perfect. So standing and shoveling food down during the 30-second increments when someone is not asking for something has become the new norm.
  4. Stress-Free Shopping: Now, if I need to run to Target or Walmart and have to take the kids, it’s a whole conversation/thinly veiled threat to make sure they aren’t begging me for toys every step of the way. It’s also a toss up as to if the 2 year old will throw one of her increasingly frequent tantrums where she goes wet noodle on me so I can’t pick her up in the middle of the aisle.
  5. Bathing Alone: Shower, bath, washing my face… whatever. I miss doing any of that by myself and not having tiny tyrants asking me 5 million questions while I am trying to do something as simple as having good hygiene.
  6. Watching TV: Why am I often more knowledgeable about what The Floogals are doing instead of what our Congress is doing? I DVR the news and watch it after I put my kids down but dang.
  7. Having a Night Out Without Spending Half of our Savings: Every mom needs a night out every now and again. But prepare to dig deep into your wallet if you actually want your husband or partner to come along. Babysitters make bank these days. Paying for a sitter and then for whatever you are actually planning to do can make a simple dinner out cost more than a roundtrip flight to Chicago.
  8. Wearing Jewelry: I love earrings. Dangly ones, big hoops, you name it… I used to wear all kinds of cute earrings before kids. Now, I can’t wear anything fun without taking the chance of having my earlobe torn off by one of my grabby kids who thinks it looks pretty and therefore must have it regardless of what harm it does to me and my ear. Same for necklaces, bracelets and pretty much any accessory ever in the history of ever.
  9. A Flat Stomach: Self-explanatory.
  10. Having Extra Spending Money: That’s also all gone at this point.

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